so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
