there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It's not a walk of shame if you run
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
ok first of all what the fuck
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
