well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
