so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
