How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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