how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
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They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
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Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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