Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
