No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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