Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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