I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
