We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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