Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
