Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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