I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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