I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
