grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
