Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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