I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
