How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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