As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
