direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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