He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
