Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
