so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
