Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
someone owes me an orgasm
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
