I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
