i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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