your parents love me but you hate me
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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