are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
