My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
