He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
