i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
