Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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