I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
