I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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