So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
