he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
