the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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