i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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