Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
