you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
