what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
