Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
