i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
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