just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
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