i just google imaged poop.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
