New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
two words: eviction party
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
