32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
make that 40.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
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did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
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Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.