Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy

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  (740): Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy http://tfl.nu/qjnh
  Replies (11) Good night (1785) Bad night (598)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless

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  (702): I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless http://tfl.nu/97sl
  Replies (18) Good night (981) Bad night (2360)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny

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  (513): u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny http://tfl.nu/3xi0
  Replies (11) Good night (776) Bad night (4274)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though

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  (609): you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though http://tfl.nu/8e43
  Replies (10) Good night (1676) Bad night (4453)
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  (+47): View more from Norway

  i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls

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  (+47): i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls http://tfl.nu/1fkx
  Replies (48) Good night (10821) Bad night (1278)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.

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  (717): Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire. http://tfl.nu/xlxu
  Replies (11) Good night (1186) Bad night (2507)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  Yeah I'm going to bathe him.

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  (316): I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong. (1-316): Yeah I'm going to bathe him. http://tfl.nu/s84m
  Replies (6) Good night (3925) Bad night (1021)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...

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  (412): Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse... http://tfl.nu/ttob
  Replies (8) Good night (1148) Bad night (3308)
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  (925): View more from California

  After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome

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  (925): After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome http://tfl.nu/nygq
  Replies (10) Good night (4108) Bad night (1393)
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  (760): View more from California

  I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.

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  (760): I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable. http://tfl.nu/xt8c
  Replies (1) Good night (1091) Bad night (563)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us 

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  (941): I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us  http://tfl.nu/54ii
  Replies (2) Good night (1361) Bad night (512)
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  (323): View more from California

  We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.

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  (323): We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40. http://tfl.nu/6iay
  Replies (4) Good night (1103) Bad night (631)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?

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  (845): Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird? http://tfl.nu/8vw8
  Replies (7) Good night (1003) Bad night (505)
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  (310): View more from California

  So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..

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  (310): So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me.. http://tfl.nu/vhak
  Replies (2) Good night (638) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night

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  (847): I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night http://tfl.nu/c36n
  Replies (3) Good night (696) Bad night (268)

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