im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
