guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize