oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
