I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Someone shattered a urinal.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
