every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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