well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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