How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
