Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
