weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
