Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Just cropdusted the office
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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