I wish I could punch you in the face.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
