The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
