I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
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I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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