Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
