It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
